


We're Not Crazy

by emmiebee



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Husbands, It's Soft, M/M, Marriage, Mentions of alcoholism, Read at Your Own Risk, They Are Husbands, This is a love story, and painful, i have a lot of feelings about this, they are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:54:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26049112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmiebee/pseuds/emmiebee
Summary: Aiden McNamara knew exactly what he was getting into when he married General John McNamara of the United States military, special unit PEIP (they call it Peep). He knew right from the start, and he doesn’t regret it one bit. He never will. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard sometimes.A look into Aiden and John's love story, from the moment they met to where they are now.(aka I have a lot of Feelings about my OC Aiden and his marriage to John and I needed to write them down)
Relationships: John McNamara/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	We're Not Crazy

Aiden McNamara knew exactly what he was getting into when he married General John McNamara of the United States military, special unit PEIP (they call it Peep). He knew right from the start, and he doesn’t regret it one bit. He never will. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard sometimes. Sometimes there is pain, and sorrow. And sometimes there are nights where Aiden is left alone to lie in bed and worry, worry about when, if ever, his husband is coming home, if he is hurt or worse. And on those nights, those lonely anxious nights, Aiden remembers. 

The first time they ever met, Aiden shot John. In his defense, it was entirely accidental. He had been young, not long out of college, and he was trying to get a license as a private investigator. He wanted to prove himself competent, so he had decided to look into a series of unexplained and unusual events that had been happening around a small town in the midwest. He had been hiding out in an abandoned warehouse, looking around for any details that could give him some insight on what was going on, when he heard footsteps.   
Aiden ducked behind a stack of crates, taking the safety off of the small pistol he carried with him. And he waited. The footsteps came closer, whoever it was seemed to be retracing Aiden’s steps. Stupid, he thought to himself. He should have covered up his tracks.   
The footsteps stopped, not far from Aiden’s hiding spot. He took a deep breath and cocked the pistol. If he was going to get out of this, he needed to move quickly. So he shot out from behind the crates and fired.   
It was stupid. In those early days he had made way too many bad decisions, dumb little mistakes like shooting before anything else. He didn’t know how he had even managed to make it as far as he had with those mistakes.  
“Ow,” the young man to whom the footsteps belonged to frowned, staring at the blood blooming on his arm. He was about Aiden’s age and a couple inches shorter than Aiden, with shoulder-length dark wavy hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, dressed in plain jeans and a leather jacket. He glanced up at Aiden, who was still pointing the pistol at him, and raised an eyebrow. “Nice shot. But your aim needs a little work. I don’t think a bullet grazing my arm will effectively kill me.”  
“Maybe I’m not trying to kill you,” Aiden shot back. “Or maybe I am. It depends on who the hell you are. So who the hell are you?”  
“I could ask you the same question,” the other man pointed out.   
“I’m the one with the gun,” Aiden reminded him. In a flash, the man darted forward, grabbed hold of Aiden’s wrist, and twisted it sharply. Aiden yelped and dropped the pistol. The stranger caught it effortlessly and tucked it securely into his waistband. “No, I am.” then he sat straight down on the floor and ripped a piece off of the hem of his shirt, wrapping it around the wound on his arm like he’d done it a million times before.   
Aiden’s jaw dropped. “Ok, how the hell did you do that, and can you teach me?”  
“I’m with the military,” the man explained, then grimaced. “Sort of. I’m looking into some… things that have been happening around here lately. An investigation, you could call it.”  
Aiden’s jaw dropped even further. “That’s- that’s actually what I’m doing too. I’m a private investigator. Sort of.”  
The other man narrowed his eyes, leaning forward slightly. “What kind of private investigator?”  
Aiden debated on how to answer that question for a second. Most people laughed at him when he told them what he did, but if this man was looking into the same things he was, then maybe…  
“I specialize in the paranormal and the supernatural,” he explained. “You know, things not of this world. Everyone thinks I’m crazy. I’m almost convinced I’m crazy, myself.”  
The stranger got to his feet and took a step towards Aiden, a strange fire in his eyes. “You are not crazy,” he said, and it was the first time Aiden actually believed it. The stranger held out a hand. “Name’s McNamara. John McNamara.”  
“Aiden Clarke,” Aiden replied, shaking the offered hand.   
“So, Aiden,” John McNamara said with a slight smile. “You wanna grab a drink?”

They had gone to a small bar not far from the abandoned warehouse, and had just sat and talked for hours. Aiden had learned that John had been on his own since he was fifteen, when his homophobic parents had kicked him out for being gay. Aiden’s heart hurt when he heard that. His own family had always been accepting of his bisexuality, and he couldn’t imagine what it would have been like for him if they hadn’t.   
The rest of John’s story was pretty simple. He had gone into military training, but wasn’t exactly the most well-liked, due to a tendency to disregard orders because they weren’t the right thing to do. But he had a friend, Wilbur Cross, who vouched for him. John had always believed that there was something more in the world, something that couldn’t be explained but was definitely there. He believed that there needed to be a branch of the military to oppose these forces, and he was trying to get it off the ground himself.   
When he heard that, Aiden offered John his help, his investigative skills and his own belief in the supernatural. And that’s how it began. 

PEIP itself was mostly their fault. They had gathered a small team, and that team had slowly turned into the organization that exists today. But it hadn’t been easy. In the earlier days, there had been a moment where John had almost given up, almost convinced himself that this was never going to happen, but Aiden had looked him dead in the eyes and told him, “You are not crazy.” It kind of became a thing between them, something they said to each other whenever everything became too much. It was even inscribed on their wedding rings: We’re not crazy. 

Their love story had never been a typical one, from the very moment it began.   
They had been under attack, in the small military base that had counted as PEIP HQ at the time. John and Aiden had taken cover in a small side office, shoving a desk in front of the door to keep it closed. John was on alert, firearm at the ready, eyes narrowed at the door, the picture of confidence. Aiden was freaking out. This was the most dangerous situation he had ever been in, and he wasn’t exactly handling it perfectly.   
“John,” he said, hating how his voice shook. John glanced back, the hardness in his gaze softening. “You’re alright,” he reassured Aiden. “You’re going to get out of this.”  
Aiden noticed how he didn’t include himself in that. A thrill of panic shot through him, and he turned the soldier around to face him. “John, listen to me. If we don’t- if you don’t- I wanted to tell you-”  
He didn’t get to finish, as he suddenly found himself pinned against the wall, being kissed by John McNamara. Aiden squeaked, then melted into the kiss. It didn’t last long, seeing as they were still under attack, but when John pulled away his eyes were blazing. “We’re going to make it out of this,” he snarled. “Do you hear me? We’re getting out of this alive, and then you’re going out to dinner with me. Got it?”  
Aiden nodded, breathless. “Yep. Yeah. Got it. Hear ya loud and clear. Yup.”

Needless to say, they made it out, and they did indeed go out to dinner. And that was where they started.   
They were together for roughly three years before they got married. Somewhere in there they got a house together, somewhere off the grid where they could be mostly protected from whatever otherworldly forces would harm them. Also somewhere in there, Aiden had gotten his official license, and had opened an office as a private investigator specializing in the paranormal.   
His office was small and unassuming, but it was his, and he was proud of it. John had stopped by to visit on the first day. The minute he crossed the threshold, Aiden had held up a hand to stop him, then whirled around in his desk chair and said in his best detective novel voice: “The stranger walked into my office, and my heart stopped beating. He wasn’t just tall, dark, and handsome. He was the most gorgeous creature on the entire planet. And this, this angel, he looked me in the eyes, and he said…”  
John raised an eyebrow, but went along with it. “Aiden Clarke, I need your help with something very urgent.”  
“Anything, I replied.”  
John stepped forward, his expression dead serious. “I need you to get your ass over here and kiss your boyfriend.”  
Aiden leapt to his feet and rushed at John, throwing his arms around his neck. “I promise you, sir, I will not let you down,” he whispered, and kissed him.

They got married not long after. The wedding was small, only a few good friends and family were invited. John’s heart almost stopped when he saw Aiden, with his usual button-down shirt and sweater replaced by a gorgeous white tux, his light brown hair neatly combed and styled, glasses still perched awkwardly on his nose.   
It wasn’t a particularly special ceremony, they said their vows and that was that. Afterwards Aiden and John snuck away from the party and sat on the roof, looking up at the stars and just basking in the glow of being together. “The world is so big,” Aiden had mused, resting his head on John’s shoulder. “There’s so much out there, and we’re the only ones who realize it and can do something about it.”  
“It’s a pretty large responsibility,” John agreed. “But with you by my side? Anything is possible. We’re not crazy, Aiden.”  
“No we’re not,” Aiden said, taking his husband’s hand and intertwining their fingers. “We’re the goddamn McNamaras, and we are not crazy.”  
“You hear that, world?” John yelled, flinging back his head and calling out to the sky. “We’re ready for you. My husband and I, we won’t go down without a fight. So throw whatever you will at us. We won’t give up. Because we’re here, we’re alive, we’re together, and we are not crazy.”  
“That’s right,” Aiden added. John grinned and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you.”  
Aiden lifted his head and smiled softly. “I love you too.”

When John was promoted to general, things got a little harder. He spent more time on the job, and was often stressed over being in command. But he was a strong leader, and PEIP was made better by him being in charge. But it did take a toll on him, which was something he let no one but Aiden see. And then Wilbur went through that portal and turned, and that was the final straw.   
Losing Wilbur broke something in John. Wilbur had been his mentor, his friend, someone who stuck by him and helped him out no matter what. John wasn’t quite the same after that.   
He started drinking, and didn’t stop. He was gone all hours of the day, and often all night as well. He was distant and hollow, and everything Aiden tried to get through to him didn’t work.   
Xander Lee, their mutual best friend, was a true angel in this time. He spent time with both Aiden and John, talked to them both and acted as moral support. But in the end Aiden couldn’t take it anymore.   
One night while John was out, Aiden lost it and called him, in tears and desperate. John didn’t like phones, but he had an old flip phone he carried with him in case someone (aka Aiden) needed to contact him.   
“John, I don’t know if you’ll get this, or when you’ll get this, but I needed to say something. I love you. Always have, always will. And I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through, but I need you to remember that you’re not alone. That I’m here, that we can do anything together. Do you remember when you said that? On the roof? ‘We’re here, we’re alive, and we are not crazy.’ Remember? Please remember. Remember that you’re still alive, that you can still fight. I believe you can get through this. So please, baby, please. Come back to me.”  
Aiden hung up the phone and sunk down into the couch, wiping the tears from his face, hoping beyond all hope that John would get the message, that everything would be okay, that he wouldn’t lose the love of his life.   
He didn’t know how long he was sitting there before the front door banged open and John was there, panting, eyes wide and blazing with a fierce light that Aiden had never seen before. Aiden shot up from the couch, his heart pounding. “John?”  
“I’ve always been a believer,” John said softly, taking a slow step forward. “I have always believed in doing what’s right, no matter the cost. I have always believed in good versus evil, in light versus darkness. And I have always believed in love. But I never fully understood what that meant, until I met you. There was never a reason, until you came into my life. But now I know why I believe. I believe because of you. You are the reason I fight, the reason I live, the very reason I exist. No matter how lost I am, your voice will always call me home. You are the light at the end of the tunnel, and I will always, always come back to you.” his voice broke a little on the ‘always’, and he flashed a crooked smile. “Even though it might take me a while sometimes.”  
Aiden just stood there for a moment, words failing him. “Those were your wedding vows,” he managed. John nodded and looked away briefly. “I’m so sorry, my love,” he whispered. “I should have talked to you, I should have let you help me, I should have… I should have realized that you’re all I need. All I’ll ever need. Forgive me.”  
“My soldier boy,” Aiden breathed, tears welling up in his eyes again. “Of course.”  
John crossed the rest of the way to Aiden and collapsed into his arms, burying his face in his husband’s shoulder, shaking. Aiden twined his fingers into John’s hair, wrapping his other arm around him as tightly as possible. And they stayed like that for a long time. 

The drinking stopped after that, but the struggle never did. John bore it as well as he could, putting on a brave face in front of his soldiers, staying strong no matter what he faced. But when he got home he let the facade shatter, let the toll his work was taking on him show completely. It broke Aiden’s heart to see the man he loved so beaten down like that, but he knew what PEIP meant to John, so they both kept fighting.  
“Sometimes I wish you had never started PEIP,” Aiden said at one point, when it was just the two of them. “I mean, I know what you’re doing here is important, but I can’t help but think…”  
“I know,” John said quietly. “But you know you just have to say the word and I’ll run away with you, yes?”  
“I know,” Aiden replied. “But you know I could never do that to you.”

Another time, only a few weeks ago, John had broken down as soon as he got home, dropping to his knees and letting it all out, how he felt that no matter what they did they couldn’t win, how he was tired of being in pain, of being stressed and overworked, how he felt like he couldn’t do it anymore. Aiden had held him while he cried, stroking his hair and whispering soothing words in his ear.   
“You’re not broken,” he said fiercely, putting all the conviction he could muster into his voice. “You know how I know? Because I know you. The man I love doesn’t give up, and he never will. He’s a soldier, and he won’t stop fighting until he has won the war. That’s the man I married, and that’s the man I see before me right now. My John. My soldier boy,” his voice broke, and he held his husband tighter, wishing he could take away all that pain. “You deserve the world, and I don’t know how to give it to you.”  
“Aiden,” John pulled back slightly, taking Aiden’s face in his hands. “Don’t you get that the world would mean nothing to me if you weren’t in it?”  
Aiden rested his forehead against John’s briefly, then kissed his forehead, cheeks, nose, and lips.  
“And you’re right,” John told him quietly. “I’m not going to give up. We’re not going to give up. And you know why?”  
He rose to his feet and held out a hand to help Aiden up. “Because we’re the goddamn McNamaras, and we are not crazy.”

Now Aiden is jolted out of his memories by the sound of the front door opening. There are quiet footsteps that echo through the house and up the stairs to the bedroom door. The door opens, and the sound of a person moving around can be heard. Aiden would recognize John anywhere, by the way he breathes, the way he moves.   
John gets himself settled and lies down in the bed next to Aiden. Aiden makes a valiant effort to open his eyes and fails miserably. “I’m awake,” he mutters. John chuckles softly. “No you’re not.”  
Aiden feels lips brush his forehead, and then his husband’s arms wrap around him and everything is alright now.   
They’re not perfect, and they probably never will be. They are broken and lost in so many ways, but they are here, they are alive, and they are together. They’re the goddamn McNamaras, and they are not crazy.


End file.
